In my new healing journey, I have found myself many times stuck in old negative thought patterns. It requires a lot of effort to just let go and surrender. When I drew the angels card deck and pick one with my left hand (closest hand to the heart) I picked twice in the same week the card “Surrendering” which is a reminder to dissolve my ego resistance so I can reach higher levels of vibration such as vitality, inner peace, harmony and love. On a daily basis, I think about my condition and the scenarios that I don’t want, I also think about my suppor system and feeling fear that they may not be there for me. Most of all I think about the impact of my decision to try alternative healing. I just want to be alive and vibrant for my family and for my purpose in life (dharma). I have also gotten this card from the angels,,,to focus on my decision based on higher purpose not ego but if I don’t know what my higher purpose is how can I make the best decision? I need to find my purpose in life by asking 3 simple questions that I am the only one that can find the answers:
1)Why am I here?
2) What are my unique set of skills or gift?
3) How can I use this gift and serve humanity?
Deepak chopra says that we all have a unique talent or several talents that no one else has and that is our gift to the world, to use that skill set to make this a better world.
I am 41 yrs old and have spent my entire adult life working so I can provide for myself and my family. In my current job I don’t feel that I am serving for my higher purpose. I don’t find myself losing track of time because my daily job is so passionate to me. I have never felt that way. I have felt a huge sense of responsibility, urgency and competitiveness to do my job well as those are the rewarded traits in the organization. What I enjoy the most is interacting with people and coaching those new to the job or starting their careers, however, I know my dharma is not there.
I will keep asking those 3 questions during meditation as I believe this is part of my healing process. It would be so wonderful when I have the answers! Or when I start being conscious of the signals pointing me to it. It will be a life changing moment as much as my diagnosis has been. I will keep asking and praying for guidance. AMEN.
My new prayer
Dear Lord, establish with your light a true connection to resolve my thyroid situation, engulf my energy and destroy the cancer cells in order to heal. Give me the truth and teach me the joy of knowing who I am and resolve my mind mysteries. In Jesus name. AMEN.
Link to my favorite Deepak Chopra Healing Affirmations HERE.